 |
(Humor at Sea) ni
Dodong Marino,
MV Buenavista |
 BILLIARD
BALL
Isang classroom, nagtatanong ang teacher tungkol sa iba’t
ibang klase ng bola.
TEACHER: Okey class, magbigay nga kayo ng bolang
may balahibo. (taasan ng kamay) O, ikaw Maricar.
MARICAR: Ma’m, iyong tennis ball po!
TEACHER: Good! (palakpakan) O, ikaw Niel magbigay
ng example.
NIEL: Ma’m leather basketballs, po!
TEACHER: Very Good! (palakpakan uli) O, ikaw naman
Francis magbigay ka ng bolang may balahibo.
FRANCIS: (Tuwang-tuwang sumagot) Ma’m billiard
balls po!
TEACHER: Billiard balls? teka ala namang balahibo
yun ah.
FRANCIS: Naku Ma’m, hindi po! May balahibo po
talaga iyon! O, sige nga Billiard ipakita mo nga kay Ma’am!
LUBID
Isang magnanakaw ang nangumpisal sa pari sa simbahan kinaumagahan:
Magnanakaw: Pader patawarin n’yo po ako at nagnakaw
po ako.
Padre: Ano bang ninakaw mo?
Magnanakaw: Isang pirasong tsinilas.
Padre: Maliit lang pala ang kasalanan mo pinapatawad
na kita.
Nang sumunod na araw ay bumalik ang magnanakaw upang
mangumpisal ulit Magnanakaw: Padre, patawarin nyo po ako uli at nagnakaw
na naman po ako.
Padre: Ano ba ulit ang iyong ninakaw, anak?
Magnanakaw: Lubid po?
Padre: Ay maliit lang pala, sige pinapatawad na
kita.
Magnanakaw: Lubid nga po Padre pero sa dulo may
kalabaw.
MATINONG TRABAHO
Judge: Susmaryosep! Hindi ka lang pala holdaper
at snatcher, swindler, akyat-bahay at kidnaper ka pa. Wala ka bang matinong
trabaho?
Accused: Mayroon po your honor. Pulis po ako.
BOSS
 Naglilinis
sa office si Jani ng dumating ang amo niya.
AMO: Aba, bago ka dito ano? Ano’ng pangalan mo?
JANI: Jani!
AMO: Kapag sasagot ka, lalagyan mo ng Sir. Understand?
Ngayon, ano’ng pangalan mo?
JANI: Sir Jani!
AMO: Ngeek!
CHEWING GUM
Stewardess: Sir, here’s some chewing gum so your
ears won’t hurt during the flight.
Seaman: Thank you, Miss.
After an hour ....
Seaman: Paano ba ito tanggalin sa tenga ko?
MOTHER OF ALL
PROFESSIONS
During the Education Week Celebration, the emcee emphasized
that teaching is the mother of all profession.
Claudio: It’s nice to hear that teaching is the
mother of all professions.
Romeo: If teaching is the mother of all professions,
who must have been the father?
 BULALO
Sa gitna ng salo-salo sa barko, may tatlong marinong
kasalukuyang himihigop ng sabaw.
AB: (NAPAPAIYAK) Mga pre, alam n’yo kapag kumain
ako ng masarap na pagkain tulad ngayon, naalala ko ang pamilya kong nasa
Pilipinas. Siguro, tipid na tipid sila ngayon sa pagkain, matagal din kasi
akong istambay.
OS: (NAPAIYAK NA RIN) Ako naman naaala ko ang
mga kasama ko sa UFS, tiyak tuyo at noodles lang tinitira nila. Sana nandito
rin sila, kasalo natin.
BUSON: (NAPAIYAK NA DIN AT NAPASIGAW PA) Mga buwisit
kayo ang da-drama n’yo pa eh, bakit hindi n’yo sinabi na napakainit ng
sabaw, napaso nguso ko!
 TAKE
HOLD OF HIS HAND
A captain’s son was placed on the operating table ready
for a minor operation.
Captain: Don’t be afraid son. I will hold your
hand.
Youngster: “No, no. Hold the doctor’s hands.
ANY WIVES
CAPTAIN: Let me introduce you to my wife.
MANNING EXECUTIVE: I am always glad to meet any
of your wives
 THE
TRUTH
An AB was a witness in court.
Lawyer: Did anyone tell you what to say in court?
AB: Yes sir!
Lawyer: And what did he tell you?
AB: He said lawyers would try to get me tangled
up but if I stick to the truth, I would be all right.
|
|
Contribute your ideas online!
Express your opinion!
You can now
any discussion on seafarer's issues anytime or anywhere you are with
Usapang
Marino
(Seafarer's
Forum)
at URL: http://www.ufs.ph/phpBB2
Need a break?
Participate in seafarer’s
sports while in Rotterdam and Antwerp?
ISS/ICSW, in cooperation
with Friends of UFS in Rotterdam, has initiated a host of sports activities
for seafarers calling ports in Rotterdam and Antwerp. For more information,
contact Jorg Pfautsch, telephone number 0032-478-292469, or UFS-Rotterdam
at 010-4668300. |
THE
SEAMAN’S CHURCH INSTITUTE OF NY & NJ
International Seafarers’
Center
118 Export Street, Port
Newark,
New Jersey 07114
TELEPHONE (973) 589-5828
FAX (973) 8565
WE WELCOME YOU!
– MON - FRI 8:30 AM to10
PM
– SATURDAY 4 to10 PM
– SUNDAY 4 to 10 PMFree
Transportation to the center / Worship service, prayer meetings, and counseling
is provided aboard ship by request, and the Mariner’s Chapel / Cross &
Anchor calling cards – low rates for domestic and international calls ($10
and $20 cards available) / Books, Bibles, magazines, religious materials,
trucker resources, and used clothing / Postal services (U.S. mail, priority
/ express mail, Fedex) available / Money orders and money gram services
to all countries / Cash remittance to the Philippines / Internet access,
email services, faxes / Sports & Entertainment–large screen TV, ping
pong, darts, billiards, soccer, basketball, and video games / Fitness Center
/ Shower–no charge for seafarers / Gift Shop–candy, greeting cards, soda,
souvenirs, health and beauty products, clothing / New Jersey Gardens–the
largest outlet mall in NJ just 15 minutes away / Bus service is available
/ Balikbayan box shopping, UPS / Restaurant / Bar–Breakfast, lunch, and
dinner.
Serving the ports of Newark,
Elizabeth, Jersey City, Bayonne, Port Reading, Kearny, Linden, Carteret,
Perth Amboy, Staten Island, and Brooklyn |
NOTICE TO THE
PUBLIC
Rolly Pagaspas is not
in any way connected with the United Filipino Seafarers (UFS). He was assigned
as event director during the 1st UFS National Summit last September 2004
but he disappeared two days before the event. Any transaction entered into
by Mr. Pagaspas will not be honored by UFS. |
