(Humor at Sea) ni Dodong Marino, MV Buenavista

THE SAME

Teacher: Nonoy, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his? 
Nonoy: No, teacher, it’s the same dog! 
 
 

WIFE SAID

Twenty men died and went to heaven. Upon reaching heaven, they were told to form two lines -- one for all the husbands who are "under the saya" and the other for those who are not. 
After the men formed the line, one of the angels noticed that there are 19 men in the first line and only one in the second. 
The angel walked up to the man and asked why he was so sure of his independence. “That’s easy,” said the fellow. “My wife told me to stand here!” 
 
 

'ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY' 
So what ? Who’s in a hurry? 
 

RELIGION

Oiler's wife: I've just divorced my husband. 
Buson's wife: Why? 
Oiler's wife: We had problems over religion. He started thinking he is God. 
 
 

I DID

Little Johnny runs into the kitchen crying."Why are you crying?" asked his mother. I cried because daddy hit his thumb with the hammer!You shouldn’t cry because of  that, you should laugh. Johnny breaks out in tears anew and said,  "I did laugh, and daddy spanked me!" 
 
 

WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY

Like a lot of  husbands since time immemorial, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would say "And what’s that supposed to mean?" Thus, Webster’s Dictionary was born. 
 

BUTTERFLIES

An  oiler  comes to a doctor and complains (with his arms waving around him): Doctor I see butterflies all around me. Help me!! I see butterflies around me! Doctor: Well don’t  chase them in my direction! 
 

'LE WHISKEY'

Three presidents, Boris Yeltsin of Russia, Bill Clinton of US, and Mexico’s Ernesto Zedillo, were at a summit dinner in France. 
The waiter asked: ”Le aperitif?” 
All of them answered: “Oui!” 
The waiter looked at Zedillo: “Le tequila?” 
Zedillo: “Oui!” 
The waiter looked at Yeltsin: “Le vodka?” 
Yeltsin: “Qui!” 
Finally, the waiter looked at Clinton “Le whiskey?” 
Clinton:  To tell you the truth, I did not have any intimate relation with that woman!!! 
 
 

TOILET BOWL

In a peculiar commodities section of the house appliances store, three seamen made their lucky shopping: The AB bought a wooden toilet. On the other hand, the oiler  bought a brick toilet and the Buson bought a singing toilet. 
A day later, they came back for refund. 
AB: Every time I sit on the toilet I get  rashes! 
Oiler: Every time I sit  on the toilet I get bruises!” 
Buson: Every time I sit on the toilet it sings the national  anthem and I have to stand up!!!” 

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